After being unable to sleep this morning, I transitioned to the couch. Lying there wrapped in a blanket, I crossed my arms over my chest in an effort to get as comfortable as possible. For a few moments, I rested. But with every breath, and with each passing minute, things felt heavier. For those minutes, I fully realized the weight of my own body – my chest moving up and down, my arms shifting slightly to accommodate the movement.
In between slow breaths, three things crossed my mind:
- I am stronger than I believe.
I confess, there are times when I walk around believing I am paper-thin, like the slightest emotional or physical push will be my undoing. I feel unequipped to withstand a world fraught with such chaos. But, this morning, I felt how strongly God created me and how perfectly suited I am for this life, thick and sturdy, firmly planted and able to stand and move in the direction He send me. This strength is not my own. He gives all. Every sinew, every fiber, every muscle – a gift, one I ashamedly under-appreciated until now.
- My flesh is heavier than I imagine.
For perhaps the first time ever this morning, I also was able to feel the weighted burden of the flesh. This body is heavy and although it allows me to physically stand guard for the trials of this world, it also keeps my soul tethered here on Earth. I imagined and saw the struggle of my two halves – being physically in the world but longing for citizenship in the perfectness and brightness of Heaven. What a blessing to feel this duality within oneself – in my opinion, proof of God’s incredible existence.
- God carries my burden much more than I realize.
With this realization in strength of body and weightlessness of soul, I feel a deeper love for God. Even in the most humble of moments, God speaks to us. God is with us. God is guiding us.
When you feel like you’re carrying this world on your shoulders, think about this – we’re always in God’s hands and He’s always there to lift the burden. Even when we feel like we’ve hit rock bottom, He holds us up from falling further. Even in moments of triumph, He is the one raising us to new heights. When living gets heavy, remember we never carry the weight alone.